I was slippin on my pimpin.....

This morning started like any other morning. I worked out for an hour. I showered. I watched the news while i got dressed. I got the kids' clothes and backpacks ready. I woke up my 8-year-old daughter and told her, "Time to get up. Get your butt to the bathroom and get ready." Usually, it takes her about 5 minutes to roll out of bed and crawl to the bathroom, complaining the whole time while I repeated myself about 10 times. However, this morning, she sat up quickly and had the biggest smile on her face. She yanked up her pillow and the smile quickly turned to a scowl.

OMG...I forgot to put a dollar under her pillow. Her tooth fell out during yesterday's lunch and she was so excited about getting $ from the Tooth Fairy. She doesn't believe in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. Actually, I dont think anyone believes in the Easter Bunny. But the Tooth Fairy? My daughter has religiously placed every single one of her baby teeth under her pillow because the Tooth Fairy ALWAYS gave her $. Except last night.

My brain quickly went to mush trying to think of an excuse. The Tooth Fairy was busy...The Tooth Fairy didn't know your tooth fell out...The Tooth Fairy couldn't find our house...The Tooth Fairy didn't have enough $...The Tooth Fairy was so sleepy last night that she forgot to do it. These were horrible excuses and I knew none of them would work. I would have to tell her the truth. I was trying to find my words, trying to figure out how not to crush this last bit of childhood innocence when she looked up at me and said, "You forgot, didn't you?" I almost laughed and almost started to stutter. I said, "What? What are you talking about it? What did I forget?" I almost dug myself into a deeper hole when I saw her tooth was missing from under the pillow. I said, "How was the tooth fairy supposed to give you $ without a tooth?". She saw the empty spot and quickly looked all over her bed for the missing tooth. She found out she slept on it.

So tonight, she placed her tooth under her pillow, again. I told her, "I think you should put it on your nightstand so you don't accidentally sleep on it again. And, you'll make things easier for the tooth fairy." She smiled, placed the tooth on her nightstand, and said, "I hope the Tooth Fairy comes back and gives me $1. Mama, I said $1. Don't forget." I was too tired to defend myself. So, I tucked her in and told her, "If I see her, I'll let her know."

It's past 11 o'clock. She's finally asleep. And just my luck, I don't have any cash on me. Can someone help a Tooth Fairy out? --ms

bank robber @ takoma park MD

So...I'm watching the 11 o'clock news and what do I see? A bank robber trying to be slick and ends slipping on the ice. His hostage gets away, flailing her arms, and he ends up getting shot. I'm watching this in shock and disbelief and it hits me: I've been at that shopping center! I remember getting my feet done with my friend at the nail shop. Then, she got a Jamaican beef patty at the Carribean Palace. Then, we got some gyros next door at Tony's Villa Subs & Pizza. I can't believe there was a hostage situation! Then, I realized it was in Takoma Park, close to Langley Park aka Gangley Park. Now it makes sense. We, MoCo residents, are tired of PG county residents doing their dirty work on our side of the line. They're always testing the waters. They're such habitual line steppers. Yes, I'm quoting Charlie Murphy. Anyway, they should know MoCo police always run deep. ALWAYS. Routine traffic stops always require 3 cop cars. Shoplift incidents at the mall always require at least 2. It takes 2 cars to patrol 1 street. I'm not mad at it. We just know how MoCo rolls. So, why would PG county residents even try to mess with them? Maybe they didn't want to add to their awful crime rate? I tried to get insight on how others felt about PG's problems by reading other sites. To sum it up, those who defend it always say, "you've probably never stepped foot into PG county". Actually, we have and we got out asap. Others said it was just a result of DC getting rid of their problems. That's probably true. Someone even called it the "butt hole" of MD. Hahaha. I wouldn't say I agree with that but I understand why. Yes, PG county is problematic. To be fair, you can give it a try. Go ahead and move to PG county. If you can dodge the bullets and survive, me know what you think. -- m.s.

Don't Text & Walk Or Everyone At The Mall Will Clown You Girls Falls Int...

I hope she doesn't sue us. Don't text and walk. Did you know she has charges for stealing her co-workers credit card and making fraudulent charges. Karma is a Biatch....

Has anyone died from exercising??

I almost did today... Okay maybe not but this is what happened....
This is the second day that I exercised in a week. OMG I forgot how hard it is to get back into it. You don't understand i haven't done anything in over a year and a half. I was pregnant. The hard part is starting, when you start you feel and look like the George Bush carrying this object. When I stick with it I will post a different picture, hopefully a picture of my six pack. Alright let me tell you how it went... I was like alright last week was tough but today, today I got this. I had nothing... I did this work out video called insanity. I must have been insane to do a video called insanity on my second day. Crazy right? That man on the video said "you are moving too slow" and yelled at me to pick up the pace. I really do believe he was yelling at me when he said it. Can you die from exercising?

you know you're foreign if you...

...drive around with lamb in the trunk of your car.  Lamb?  Yes...lamb.  Sorry.  Let me rewind....

I don't know how many times my friends and I have discussed our foreignness.  We're not ashamed of it.  It is what it is and we just laught about it.  We can probably write a book about it.  Let me take that back.  I know we can write a book about it.  For example:  We know we're foreign because our parents have a main fridge, a backup fridge, and a backup freezer.  We know we're foreign because we always have an extra car, as old as it can be, on hand for our cousins to borrow.  We know we're foreign because when we say "back home", we're talking about our foreign, mother land.  We know we're foreign because unless we grow up to be a doctor, our parents will always secretly be disappointed in us.  We know we're foreign because we're always either dropping off or picking up someone at the airport.

About a month ago, I told my friend Paul that I was extra foreign for driving around with lamb in the trunk of my car.  He laughed and said, "I got you beat.  Last week, I went to Frederick with my dad and killed a goat with my bare hands."  Damn.  He did have me beat.  About a week later, I was telling his brother, Pius, about the conversation.  Of course, we both laughed, but Pius asked, "Wait...was it cooked?"  I said, "No.  It was raw.  The butcher just chopped it up.  It's the whole thing.  Head, heart, liver, and everything."  We laughed some more until he told me the icing on the cake: "So, you know the goat they killed?  Well, my dad skinned it and hung the skin in the garage to dry.  He didn't care that the garage smelled like road kill for like a month.  When it was dry, he sent it home."  We died laughing.  I asked, "What are they gonna do with goat skin?"  Paul said, "It's probably someone's shorts by now.  'Hey, man!  What you wearing?  Is it that new goat?  Damn!  Where can I get that?'"  Oh, I love being foreign. --M.S.

corruption in PG county

For those of you not from MD and probably won't know this, MD residents are pretty loyal to their counties.  We like the services provided by our counties.  We know the good and the bad.  And, of course, we know the good and the bad of the surrounding counties as well.  As a Montgomery County resident, I shake my head to the latest shenanigans of Prince George's County Executive Jack Johnson.  Johnson and his wife, County Councilmember-elect Leslie, were arrested this past Friday by the FBI for corruption charges.  Am I surprised?  No.  This is PG County we're talking about.  According to the FBI, at the time of the arrest, $79,600 in cash was found in Leslie's underwear.  Yes.  $79,600 in cash.  I know.  That's a lot of cash.  Where did she hide it all?  There's no way that one woman's panties and bra can fit $79,600 in cash!

To top the icing on the cake, I saw Jack Johnson's brief statement to the media immediately after his release.  His statement included the following, and I promise I'm quoting: "...I have 3 weeks to go and I am going to put all of my efforts into this defense and to, ummm, take care of the b'ness of the..for the people of Prince George's County for the remaining 3 weeks.  I can't tell you how scrongly I feel about what I've said..."  Yes, folks, he said "b'ness" and "scrongly."  I'm going to assume he meant "business" and "strongly."  Again I shake my head to PG County. ---M.S.


I am tagging along on M.S.'s post because this may be the blog that is going to end a 10 year friendship. Not really...we will be friends until we grow gray hair. Wait I have gray hair already, back to the subject at hand.  I am a PG county resident and I am very disappointed in Jack B. Johnson and his wife mainly because I voted for him twice and I am very happy about what he has done for PG County.  Are we surprised that a politician is involved in a scandal?  No!!! It has nothing to do with the county.  It has everything to do with people in power are corrupt especially politicians.  Clinton, Barry, Spitzer, Blagojevich and Condit (sex, bribery, drugs, prostitution and maybe even murder).  I wanted to talk about this subject when the shit hit the fan but I was too upset, I didn't know where to start.  Although Johnson proclaims his innocence it is hard to believe him when you hear him say "put the money in your bra and tear up the check and flush it down the toilet" and you hear the toilet flushing in the background.  His behavior is inexcusable and he makes minorities look bad.  They will make an example out of him but let's keep it real this is not the first and it won't be the last.  Until next time in the DMV...

manny pacquiao for president?

I'm not a boxing fan.  I don't follow the fighters.  I don't know who's good.  I don't know who's bad.  I don't know anyone's record.  I cringe at the thought of two people trying to beat each other to a bloody pulp.  However, somehow, someway, I find myself sitting in front of the TV, watching HBO's PPV, everytime Pacquiao fights.  I cheer for him.  I cringe when his punches land, which is most of the time.  I actually enjoy it.  Could it be the simple fact that maybe I do like boxing?  Maybe.  Could it be my Filipino pride?  Most likely.  There's something about the power in Pacquiao's punches that draw me to watch his fights.  I just watched his fight against Margarito.  For those of you who didn't see it, just imagine a guy's face turning into a piece of raw meat after 10 minutes.  The right side of his face was so swollen, he can barely see out of his right eye.  Repeatedly, they checked Margarito's vision, holding up their fingers and asking, "Cuanto?"  Round after round, Margarito's face bled even more.  Pacquiao, on the other hand, never faltered.  He never slowed down.  He actually did the Mohamed Ali shuffle.  Pacquiao beat Margarito every single round.  This was his 8th championship, I think.  Did I mention Margarito was about 5 inches taller and 17 pounds heavier than Pacquiao?  What the hell?!?!?!  Pacquiao can do anything!  He can run for Congress if he wanted to.  Actually, he did and he won (in the Philippines).  Manny Pacquiao for President?  Maybe.  We'll see. ---M.S.